No excuses

This post is a bit of a hotch potch of things that have happened today and stuff that I've been thinking about lately so sorry if it rambles a bit or if I jump around different topics

I was intending just to talk about Rebecca and her dyslexia. She has been aware for some time that she has difficulties with things that her peers at school find easy. I have always tried to boost her self esteem as much as possible and celebrated her triumphs. Therefore once her educational psychologist diagnosed dyslexia, I explained this to Rebecca so that she could understand there was a specific reason for her learning difficulties. I am struggling to find the balance between her understanding that dyslexia makes some things harder and her not using it as an excuse to not try something because "I'm dyslexic, I won't be able to do that". At the moment, I am just responding by saying "Yes, you can do it, I'll help you at first and we'll practise together".

I've been making a list of things that Rebecca finds difficult when writing and looking for techniques to help. One of her main ones is confusing b and d. Apparently if your child knows the word "bed", which Rebecca does, then you can use this as a reminder with the b and d forming the head and foot of the bed and therefore showing which way they go. I'm going to try this for a while and see how we go.

The other thing on my mind involves the ex. He turned up tonight for his weekly visit surprisingly early and on a motorbike. My mind went into overdrive as to how he could afford to buy one but apparently it's on loan from a friend. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser. Anyway he sat watching TV with Rebecca and then helped her shower and read a story. When he left, Rebecca started crying and saying that she missed Daddy. He actually then came back into the house as he forgotten something. I explained why Rebecca was upset and basically he just said that he'd see her soon and left. So as usual, I was left to sort her out and comfort her and deal with the questions of why Daddy left.  I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but she's seven now and bright so i don't make excuses for him anymore. I don't say anything nasty about him but equally I don't defend him.

I'm trying to hold onto my resolution not to feel guilt for his shortfalls. It's not easy. I read recently that in life you have to accept that some people are just s**ts and you can't change that and you can't take responsibility for them. It is hard though when the biggest impact is on your kids.

I am suffering tonight with the heaviest cold imaginable. Typical that it hits me during the school holiday. I'm off to bed with a large medicinal brandy now to see if that helps.

Bye for now

love Riki xxx