Moving on

I've been thinking tonight about how it takes some people vastly different amounts of time to get over a break up and do you ever truly move on completely?

I have a friend whose marriage broke up before mine who is now happily remarried and another whose marriage fell apart in awful circumstances last year but who is dating again. I, on the other hand, haven't dated at all since the ex left nearly seven years ago.

I suppose I'm just feeling in a bit of a rut and Valentines Day tomorrow hasn't helped. Also, Katherine suddenly wanted to talk about her Dad leaving and made me rehash the whole thing again tonight.

Leaving aside the difficulties of actually dating without having a babysitter, the whole idea of dating scares me stiff and my self esteem is still pretty low. I still think of my ex saying that I really didn't have much going for me and that if he stayed with me, then he just hoped he'd die soon.

Maybe it's not a case of moving on so much as accepting that for people, you do move on, but with emotional scars and they may take longer to heal. I try and believe in karma and having read today about the number of men in their 40s suffering from erectile dysfunction, that's the particular karma that I like to imagine hitting the ex!!!

Good news for Rebecca today. Her eye test showed she has 20:20 vision. The test was the same as normal so they obviously don't change it for dyslexics. I had a frustrating afternoon with Rebecca. We tried to do some homework which involved writing six sentences but her heart wasn't in it today. She didn't want to try so in the end I stopped and will try again after school tomorrow. I've found that it's best to leave things sometimes and other times when she is in the mood, we will do extra work. There's no point in forcing her if the end result is that she just gets stressed. It doesn't achieve anything.

At least there's only one more week till half term, i could do with a few lie ins!

Bye for now

love Riki xxx