Sinking

I was going to write a nice up beat post this evening but now I'm not! You can blame the Teenage Drama Queen for the change of mind as she just thoroughly pissed me off by casually announcing that she has yet again gone more than twenty pounds over the Internet allowance on her phone. She knows that I am scrimping and saving every penny to try and clear our debts but still persists in just wasting money like this. I'm at my wits end with her. She contributes nothing to this family, is rude and lazy and expects the world to revolve around her and everything to be handed to her on a plate. I don't think its just because she's a teenager either. It makes me sad as I wonder if I've failed her in some while to make her grow up like this? It's a terrible fault of mine that I tend to blame myself for every thing and am always looking inward to analyse what have I done wrong or what could I do differently. There's nothing wrong with a little introspection but I am prone to take it to extremes!

I was already in a grotty mood tonight. The ex came over to see the girls. He was here for about an hour and a half. I had to keep telling Rebecca to calm down and stop being silly in front of him. After he had gone, she said she was trying to get his attention as all he was doing was talking to the Teenage Drama Queen. How sad is that? There was also another hint from him tonight that he reads our Twitter accounts. That annoyed me. He won't like mine anyway as it's never very complementary.

I ought to be working instead of talking to you, but I feel so grotty that I think I'll give up for tonight. I've had a cough since New Years that I can't shake and it's really starting to drag me down.

Speak soon and I promise to try and be more upbeat then

love Riki xxx