Running out of Rabbits

I used to compare being a single parent to being a juggler with the endless multi tasking being the balls you have to keep in the air. But now I think my role is probably more like a magician. I'm constantly having to find ways of achieving what looks impossible. Whether it's hacking the teenage drama queen's phone when she's forgotten her password, juggling credit cards to get another 6 months 0% credit or finding yet another source of income to try and keep a standard of life that is frankly becoming impossible to maintain.

So I've spent years pulling rabbits out of various hats and continued to achieve the impossible with no help. But lately it's become harder and I'm running out of rabbits hence the title of this post! I'm not sure why it seems so much harder. I've been ill since New Year so that certainly  hasn't helped and it is exactly 5 months tomorrow since the ex had the girls over night so single parenting 24/7 with no respite for that long has worn me down. Also I'm feeling guilty about not doing enough extra work with Rebecca as well. Her reading hasn't really improved over the last year even though her writing has and with the Statutory Assessment coming up, I just feel like I should be doing more but there's only so much you can cram into each day. If the teenage drama queen would get off her butt once in a while and help around the house then it might make life easier.

I'm also feeling a little depressed as it's my birthday on Monday and I've now reached the age when instead of celebrating, I just think Oh Christ, another year older! Still, with any luck someone might buy me some rabbits!!!

love Riki xxx