I am sitting on my bed with psycho cat as we have been banished from downstairs. Katherine, the Teenage Drama Queen, has a friend sleeping over so the deal was that when Rebecca went to bed, they would move downstairs and I would camp out in my bedroom for the rest of the evening. I don't really mind as I have the laptop, some DVDs and a couple of books but there is still a sense that I can't go downstairs as apparently it is very uncool for your parents to hang around. I went to make coffee and they both stopped talking and stared at me like I was an alien. Her friend is petrified of psycho cat as well so naturally he is following her and staring and trying to intimidate her.
The reason for this sleepover is that tomorrow (it's a training day for both my girls). I am getting up at 6am and driving them to Lakeside Shopping Centre to queue for wristbands to meet One Direction on Friday. For anyone who doesn't have a teenage daughter, One Direction are the boy band who came third in last year's X Factor. There are only 500 wristbands and apparently hundreds of teenagers will be descending on Lakeside. The only good point about this is that where we will be queuing is opposite Starbucks so I will be well supplied with caffeine.
What a way to spend the last day of the school holidays!!
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
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Sunday, 27 February 2011
Friday, 25 February 2011
Black hole
That's what I feel like I am sinking into tonight. I built up this evening in my mind. Katherine, the teenager, is at a sleepover so I envisaged that when Rebecca went to bed, I would suddenly have these extra free hours to accomplish a big long list of things. Of course, reality then threw a dampener on that.
Firstly Rebecca decided to play up about bedtime and it took nearly an hour longer than normal before she fell asleep. Then after clearing up the kitchen, I sorted out my Avon deliveries for tomorrow while fielding several calls from Katherine who apparently doesn't feel well at the sleepover. At this point I gave up, decided to ignore the ironing and other chores and collapsed on the sofa. So I didn't get the long relaxing bath, paint my toenails or watch a DVD like I had planned either.
Having read that paragraph back, it actually sounds like I accomplished a lot so I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself. I think that because I get so little time to myself in the evening, I had unrealistic expectations tonight, which was partly due to it being the end of the half term holiday when I have not had more than five minutes peace and time to myself. For example, today was spent going round Tesco this morning and then helping Rebecca make a shoe box scene for her homework. By the time we finished that, it was time to drop Katherine at the sleepover.
God, I sound whiny tonight. I know I'm not the only person who has it hard and some have it much worse than me. But sometimes it does seem over whelming and that black hole starts to suck me in.
I have just started reading a brilliant book that I wanted to share with you. It's called I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brene Brown. I know I wrote recently about feeling guilty for most of my life, but the stuff that Brene writes about shame has definitely struck a chord. I think it also has resurrected issues with my mother and with the ex in my mind which hasn't particularly helped my mood tonight. I am only about a third of the way through the book but I would definitely recommend it.
I'm off to bed now as we have to go and pick up Katherine in the morning and then traipse the streets delivering Avon.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Firstly Rebecca decided to play up about bedtime and it took nearly an hour longer than normal before she fell asleep. Then after clearing up the kitchen, I sorted out my Avon deliveries for tomorrow while fielding several calls from Katherine who apparently doesn't feel well at the sleepover. At this point I gave up, decided to ignore the ironing and other chores and collapsed on the sofa. So I didn't get the long relaxing bath, paint my toenails or watch a DVD like I had planned either.
Having read that paragraph back, it actually sounds like I accomplished a lot so I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself. I think that because I get so little time to myself in the evening, I had unrealistic expectations tonight, which was partly due to it being the end of the half term holiday when I have not had more than five minutes peace and time to myself. For example, today was spent going round Tesco this morning and then helping Rebecca make a shoe box scene for her homework. By the time we finished that, it was time to drop Katherine at the sleepover.
God, I sound whiny tonight. I know I'm not the only person who has it hard and some have it much worse than me. But sometimes it does seem over whelming and that black hole starts to suck me in.
I have just started reading a brilliant book that I wanted to share with you. It's called I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brene Brown. I know I wrote recently about feeling guilty for most of my life, but the stuff that Brene writes about shame has definitely struck a chord. I think it also has resurrected issues with my mother and with the ex in my mind which hasn't particularly helped my mood tonight. I am only about a third of the way through the book but I would definitely recommend it.
I'm off to bed now as we have to go and pick up Katherine in the morning and then traipse the streets delivering Avon.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Thursday, 24 February 2011
The perils of ironing
I was going to go to bed without posting today but as I am now sitting here with several ice cubes wrapped in kitchen roll around my throbbing thumb, I thought I might as well type something one handed while waiting for the pain to subside. I always knew ironing was bad for me but it definitely gets worse when you try to iron your thumb as well!
I finally gave in and ironed tonight as, having put it off for several days due to this streaming cold, the pile of ironing was taller than Rebecca. This is bad as she is very tall for seven!
So, apart from the accidental self harming tonight, it has been a fairly peaceful day. The teenage Drama Queen was in a good mood and even helped hoover.She is at a sleepover tomorrow so it will be a very quiet evening. Rebecca was a bit up and down. I don't know if she was still unsettled after seeing her dad last night. We continued working on her shoebox scene for school and she played in the garden for a while.
It was nice to have a fairly peaceful day as the weekend will be manic, but more about that in my next post. Am off to get some more ice for my thumb.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
I finally gave in and ironed tonight as, having put it off for several days due to this streaming cold, the pile of ironing was taller than Rebecca. This is bad as she is very tall for seven!
So, apart from the accidental self harming tonight, it has been a fairly peaceful day. The teenage Drama Queen was in a good mood and even helped hoover.She is at a sleepover tomorrow so it will be a very quiet evening. Rebecca was a bit up and down. I don't know if she was still unsettled after seeing her dad last night. We continued working on her shoebox scene for school and she played in the garden for a while.
It was nice to have a fairly peaceful day as the weekend will be manic, but more about that in my next post. Am off to get some more ice for my thumb.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
No excuses
This post is a bit of a hotch potch of things that have happened today and stuff that I've been thinking about lately so sorry if it rambles a bit or if I jump around different topics
I was intending just to talk about Rebecca and her dyslexia. She has been aware for some time that she has difficulties with things that her peers at school find easy. I have always tried to boost her self esteem as much as possible and celebrated her triumphs. Therefore once her educational psychologist diagnosed dyslexia, I explained this to Rebecca so that she could understand there was a specific reason for her learning difficulties. I am struggling to find the balance between her understanding that dyslexia makes some things harder and her not using it as an excuse to not try something because "I'm dyslexic, I won't be able to do that". At the moment, I am just responding by saying "Yes, you can do it, I'll help you at first and we'll practise together".
I've been making a list of things that Rebecca finds difficult when writing and looking for techniques to help. One of her main ones is confusing b and d. Apparently if your child knows the word "bed", which Rebecca does, then you can use this as a reminder with the b and d forming the head and foot of the bed and therefore showing which way they go. I'm going to try this for a while and see how we go.
The other thing on my mind involves the ex. He turned up tonight for his weekly visit surprisingly early and on a motorbike. My mind went into overdrive as to how he could afford to buy one but apparently it's on loan from a friend. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser. Anyway he sat watching TV with Rebecca and then helped her shower and read a story. When he left, Rebecca started crying and saying that she missed Daddy. He actually then came back into the house as he forgotten something. I explained why Rebecca was upset and basically he just said that he'd see her soon and left. So as usual, I was left to sort her out and comfort her and deal with the questions of why Daddy left. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but she's seven now and bright so i don't make excuses for him anymore. I don't say anything nasty about him but equally I don't defend him.
I'm trying to hold onto my resolution not to feel guilt for his shortfalls. It's not easy. I read recently that in life you have to accept that some people are just s**ts and you can't change that and you can't take responsibility for them. It is hard though when the biggest impact is on your kids.
I am suffering tonight with the heaviest cold imaginable. Typical that it hits me during the school holiday. I'm off to bed with a large medicinal brandy now to see if that helps.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
I was intending just to talk about Rebecca and her dyslexia. She has been aware for some time that she has difficulties with things that her peers at school find easy. I have always tried to boost her self esteem as much as possible and celebrated her triumphs. Therefore once her educational psychologist diagnosed dyslexia, I explained this to Rebecca so that she could understand there was a specific reason for her learning difficulties. I am struggling to find the balance between her understanding that dyslexia makes some things harder and her not using it as an excuse to not try something because "I'm dyslexic, I won't be able to do that". At the moment, I am just responding by saying "Yes, you can do it, I'll help you at first and we'll practise together".
I've been making a list of things that Rebecca finds difficult when writing and looking for techniques to help. One of her main ones is confusing b and d. Apparently if your child knows the word "bed", which Rebecca does, then you can use this as a reminder with the b and d forming the head and foot of the bed and therefore showing which way they go. I'm going to try this for a while and see how we go.
The other thing on my mind involves the ex. He turned up tonight for his weekly visit surprisingly early and on a motorbike. My mind went into overdrive as to how he could afford to buy one but apparently it's on loan from a friend. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser. Anyway he sat watching TV with Rebecca and then helped her shower and read a story. When he left, Rebecca started crying and saying that she missed Daddy. He actually then came back into the house as he forgotten something. I explained why Rebecca was upset and basically he just said that he'd see her soon and left. So as usual, I was left to sort her out and comfort her and deal with the questions of why Daddy left. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but she's seven now and bright so i don't make excuses for him anymore. I don't say anything nasty about him but equally I don't defend him.
I'm trying to hold onto my resolution not to feel guilt for his shortfalls. It's not easy. I read recently that in life you have to accept that some people are just s**ts and you can't change that and you can't take responsibility for them. It is hard though when the biggest impact is on your kids.
I am suffering tonight with the heaviest cold imaginable. Typical that it hits me during the school holiday. I'm off to bed with a large medicinal brandy now to see if that helps.
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Joys of parenting
You know, sometimes I think the cat appreciates me more than the kids! He's always pleased to see me at least! Actually Rebecca is OK at the moment, it's the Teenage Drama Queen acting up! I just spent 40 minutes telling her to go to bed only to then be accused of milking being ill (I have a stinking cold!). Apparently she felt ill all day but didn't make a fuss unlike me. I should point out that my making a fuss only consisted of having a lemsip before going out, sneezing continually and talking with a blocked nose tonight.
The Teenage Drama Queen never mentioned feeling ill all day and was perfectly OK to go shopping for school shoes and party clothes for the weekend and then sit on facebook all evening. I, on the other hand, have spent the evening trying to find ideas for creating a shoebox scene for Rebecca's holiday homework. It has to be a holiday destination and she wants it to be skiing. So I will spend a lot of tomorrow helping her with this. I will help with the drawing of the background and then let her paint it and will have to help with the cutting out. She has special scissors to help with her weak grip and has improved a lot but still needs some guidance.
I must also find time to run the hoover round as the ex is descending on us for his weekly visit in the evening. If I'm really lucky, I might manage to give him my cold, hee hee..
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
The Teenage Drama Queen never mentioned feeling ill all day and was perfectly OK to go shopping for school shoes and party clothes for the weekend and then sit on facebook all evening. I, on the other hand, have spent the evening trying to find ideas for creating a shoebox scene for Rebecca's holiday homework. It has to be a holiday destination and she wants it to be skiing. So I will spend a lot of tomorrow helping her with this. I will help with the drawing of the background and then let her paint it and will have to help with the cutting out. She has special scissors to help with her weak grip and has improved a lot but still needs some guidance.
I must also find time to run the hoover round as the ex is descending on us for his weekly visit in the evening. If I'm really lucky, I might manage to give him my cold, hee hee..
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Monday, 21 February 2011
Juggling credit cards and stretching the pennies
My daughter, Rebecca, asked me tonight if I had always wanted to be an Avon lady when I grew up. My short answer to her was no, but it fitted in around looking after her so was good at the moment. But it made me think and, although I wouldn't say it to her, I had a real pang of regret for the career I had to give up. I know I was only in the civil service but I was good at what I did and sometimes I do miss it. I certainly do miss the money!!
Yet again I am juggling my credit cards. At the moment everything is on 0% interest rates but unless things change, I could be in the deep doo doo by the end of the year. I know that I should be grateful that my ex pays the mortgage but with two kids money doesn't go far and I hate them going without at all. Especially as their Dad doesn't spoil them at all.
If Rebecca only had dyslexia to contend with, then childcare might be an option. But her problems with auditory processing and difficulties with dealing with large groups have made me rule it out as an option. So most doors in the job market are shut to me, as a job would need to be school hours and term time working only.
So I will keep trying to earn a few extra pennies where I can but it's bad when my hopes of getting my finances straight rest mainly on winning the lottery!
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Yet again I am juggling my credit cards. At the moment everything is on 0% interest rates but unless things change, I could be in the deep doo doo by the end of the year. I know that I should be grateful that my ex pays the mortgage but with two kids money doesn't go far and I hate them going without at all. Especially as their Dad doesn't spoil them at all.
If Rebecca only had dyslexia to contend with, then childcare might be an option. But her problems with auditory processing and difficulties with dealing with large groups have made me rule it out as an option. So most doors in the job market are shut to me, as a job would need to be school hours and term time working only.
So I will keep trying to earn a few extra pennies where I can but it's bad when my hopes of getting my finances straight rest mainly on winning the lottery!
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
Saturday, 19 February 2011
English Weather - Yuck!!
Well, we didn't make it into London today. We woke up to torrential rain. Normally this wouldn't have stopped us but we had planned to go to Borough Market and then have a walk around the South Bank and pop into Tate Modern. So this would have meant being outside quite a bit and it was cold and Rebecca was grumpy today. So we hung on until lunchtime to see if the weather improved (it didn't) and then jumped in the car and went to do some shopping locally instead. I am now planning to drive up to London tomorrow and we will have a look round one of the museums probably the Natural History as Rebecca likes dinosaurs. I have then promised the girls lunch in Harrods as a treat.
I have been hunting around the Internet tonight trying to find worksheets for dyslexics. It's annoying that I can't find anything as Rebecca had no homework set over the holiday and it would be good to have some ideas of what to work on. I'll keep hunting though
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
I have been hunting around the Internet tonight trying to find worksheets for dyslexics. It's annoying that I can't find anything as Rebecca had no homework set over the holiday and it would be good to have some ideas of what to work on. I'll keep hunting though
Bye for now
love Riki xxx
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